


there's a place in the sun for you and your children

by Rachaelizame



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Coming Out, Multi, No Incest, Pregnancy, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, Vomiting, not explicit though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-20 12:33:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9491123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachaelizame/pseuds/Rachaelizame
Summary: Han Solo finds himself pregnant- in the middle of a war.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note, I am a cis girl. I wrote this story because I love stories with kids, and I have long headcanoned certain characters from Star Wars as trans. I have had each chapter where this comes up read by an actual trans person, I have also interviewed both trans men and trans women who have had children and have read message boards and articles about trans pregnancy.
> 
> Still, I acknowledge that I may have made some mistakes in my portrayal. If I did so, please feel free to correct me and I will rewrite accordingly.

Han found himself walking down with Chewie to the mess hall. He felt like shit and had all morning, but he figured he was good for now. He was keeping a bit quieter than usual, focusing on trying to make his nausea go away. Chewie made up for the quiet though, talking strategy for an upcoming mission. He was surprisingly good at that.

They had just turned a corner when Han realized no, he wasn’t good for now. Luckily a fresher was only two doors down from them. He hurried inside, landing on his knees a few seconds before he started heaving. He vaguely heard Chewie follow him inside, but was a bit too distracted to focus on that.

He felt good enough to lean back a few minutes later, waving a hand at Chewie’s concerned question.

“Figures. This is the worst time to get a stomach bug.” They had a mission in just two days and he needed to be at his best. Well whatever. He’d probably be over it by then.

-

Despite his thoughts, he was not over it before the mission, but he made it through regardless. There had been a bit of a delay getting back to the Rebel base, the Falcon having been damaged harder than anticipated and leaving them stranded for a day, but the mission was a success and for once, there had been no casualties. Normally, Han would have been all for the small celebration the others on the mission had invited him to but he really wasn’t feeling up to it at that moment.

He stayed on the Falcon, planning on getting some of the smaller repairs done. He spent hours working on various parts of the ship before heading to his bunk and passing out.

He woke the next morning to a Wookie shaking him and an intense feeling of nausea. He bolted out of bed and grabbed the small trash can he’d started keeping in here just for this purpose.

When he was done vomiting, Chewie made an alarmed noise and spoke.

[You’re still ill?]

“Yeah, buddy. No big deal. Must just be one of those weird bugs from the Outer Rim, the ones that last for a week.”

[If you’re sure…] Chewie sounded worried. [Mission debrief is in ten minutes.] Han groaned and stood to get dressed. He hated debriefs, but they were required after nearly every mission.

After the debrief, Han and Chewie took a little time to just wander around and talk. They were so busy with the Rebellion it was hard to get time like this, but everyone was put on lighter duty the day after a mission, so no one got burned out.

Han started getting suspicious when they neared the med bay. Two turns away he tried to turn  
away, but Chewie just grabbed his arm and kept them walking. At the next corner, Julye met up with them. She was a young medic, a bit too idealistic for Han’s taste but she was the medic he knew best.

“I’m not going to the med bay!” He insisted. Julye and Chewie exchanged a look.

“C’mon, Han, this can only help. If I examine you, I might find a way to make this illness shorter, or at least give you some anti nauseants.” Julye spoke. Han was tempted, after all, he didn’t exactly enjoy being sick, but he wasn’t about to admit to needing any help. Julye sighed. “And we need to know what this is so it doesn’t spread throughout base. In medical matters, I outrank you. I really don’t want to order you in and make Chewie drag you in here.”

Reluctantly, Han agreed to an examination. Julye immediately went into medic mode, asking about his symptoms and checking him over. About halfway through the examination, she examined her data pad, frowned, drew some blood and walked over to her fellow medic Ziyan. They spoke briefly, before Ziyan took the blood sample and walked over to some old machine in the back corner of the room. 

“You’re trans, right Han?” Julye asked. Han sighed. He knew that she had to have known. After all, it was in his medical records. Still actually bringing it up was hard.

“Yeah. Problem?” Julye rapidly shook her head.

“No. Just confirming something.”

Fifteen minutes later, Ziyan went back over to the machine and pulled out the results, before calling Julye over. She took the results from xe and walked back over to Han and Chewie.

[What’s wrong?] Chewie asked. Julye directed her response to Han.

“Nothing’s… wrong per se. Your body is doing what it’s supposed to. It just may not be what you want it to do.”

“Just tell me what’s going on,” Han demanded.

“Okay, first I need to explain something. We recently discovered a certain item we were giving out was faulty. We were going to recall it beginning today, but you got here first. The item in question… is the contraceptive shot.”

“No,” Han spoke. That was all he could think, really.

“I’m afraid your suspicions are correct. You’re pregnant.”

-

Han paced his small room, unwilling to admit he was panicking. He wasn’t on testosterone- it was difficult to get a hold of in the rebellion, and given his dysphoria tended not to be too bad, he was content to let other people have their share. But he hadn’t expected this to happen.

After the announcement, Julye had explained the Rebellion’s policy for pregnant people. Obviously, they had the option to simply leave. The Rebellion would help them find an out of the way place for them and their child to live and wipe all traces of their activity from Rebellion records.

If they didn’t leave, they could always abort or give the child to someone outside the Rebellion. Neither of those ideas sat right with Han. He supposed abortion wasn’t as bad, but both options felt like giving up on his child. Not having known his parents, he couldn’t quite stand the idea of doing that to his kid.

Besides, this felt… special. He knew the only two people he had slept with since the Rebellion began and he had to admit, he was quickly falling for both of them. The idea of just getting rid of something they’d made together was upsetting.

Okay, so he was being sentimental and sickeningly sweet. Had to be the kriffing hormones.

Finally, pregnant rebels could keep their child for as long as they felt was safe, then send them off to a group who had agreed to care for those children. It would ensure the safety of the child, while allowing the parent to retain custody and even occasional visits. Han hated the thought of sending his kid away for the rest of the war, but he couldn’t just leave and he’d already ruled out the other options.

Kriff, he was going to have to tell the other parent. What was worse, he wasn’t exactly sure who was the other parent. It had to be either Luke or Leia, but, as far as he knew, either of them could be the other parent. A year after the Death Star had been destroyed, they’d had another party, smaller than the first, but a party nonetheless. He and Leia had an argument and they’d ended up in a closet somewhere- a move he hadn’t expected from the princess. Afterwards she seemed to regret it, and told him to forget it ever happened. In response, he went back to bunk with Luke that night. They both knew about it, and neither seemed particularly bothered, which was one shot dodged.

Worse, by around five months he’d become essentially useless. At that point the Rebellion no longer allowed pregnant people out on missions. They’d been hesitant to allow them even that long, but numbers were low and they were taking desperate measures.

Han lay back down on the bunk, subconsciously laying a hand on his stomach. What in the hell had he gotten himself into?

-

Walking around the next day, he could swear people were watching him. He knew that didn’t make any sense. Julye and Ziyan had sworn to keep his secret and he certainly hadn’t told anyone. He was not looking forward to coming out to the entire Rebellion. Sure they seemed to be a pretty accepting group of people, and everyone he’d already come out to so far had been fine with it. Still, there was enough intolerance in the galaxy for him to be wary of telling anyone.

Which brought up another issue. His instinct was to keep the kid, but could he handle that kind of dysphoria? Yeah, it was becoming more and more common for people to come out as being trans, but carrying a child was still seen by many as a woman’s thing. He liked to think he was pretty casual when it came to people doing things not associated with their gender roles but this could still be a struggle.

He really didn’t know what he was going to do.

-

The next day, Han told Luke and Leia they needed to talk and brought them to his bunk. Han and Luke both sat on the bed, and Leia remained standing.

“There’s something you both need to know.” Han started. Both Luke and Leia frowned at the uncharacteristic seriousness of his words. “The medics just recalled a shavit cont. shot.” Luke seemed confused but Leia’s eyes widened. “I took it, thought I was good, and now I’m pregnant.”

“What?” The surprise in the room was palpable. Luke spoke up. “You mean I-”

“One of us,” Leia corrected. “Is the other parent.” Luke briefly glanced at her in surprise, but didn’t seem too bothered by her coming out. A few minutes passed as the knowledge sunk in. Leia, predictably, accepted it first.

“All right. Then we need to know what you plan to do. Are you leaving?” Han thought she seemed a touch regretful at the possibility, but maybe that was just wishful thinking.

“No. I’m staying. Even if I keep the kid, policy is that we can keep the kid here for a year, then send them off to some Rebellion daycare thing where they’ll be safe.” He nearly winced, realizing he’d said ‘we’ as though it was certain both of them would accept the idea of being a parent.

Luke and Leia both nodded though, as though they hadn’t even noticed his slip.

“I’m four weeks and two days along, so I’ve got around four months before I become worthless to the Rebellion.” Luke shot him a questioning look, but it was Leia who explained.

“At five months, pregnant people aren’t allowed to go on any missions.”

“Oh.” Luke said. “Uh. How have you been?” Han snorted.

“Aside from being tired and sick all the time? Great.” Both Luke and Leia winced in sympathy.

“Nah, kid I’m okay. It sucks, but it hasn’t been too bad so far.”

“Good,” Luke said and Leia nodded in agreement. Han felt a strange contentment pass through him, and chalked it up to the hormones. 


	2. Chapter 2

The anti-nauseants Julye gave him worked- to a degree- which he supposed was better than going without them. He’d been avoiding the cacophony of smells coming from the mess hall, which got him a few weird looks. For all that rations could be stored outside most people still ate in the mess hall.

Leia had been distant for the past few days, and she seemed uncomfortable every time they ended up in the same room. She kept staring at his stomach. He wished she would stop because if she kept that up, someone was going to put the pieces together

Luke, on the other hand, didn’t seem to know what to do. He was torn between avoiding him, and keeping annoyingly close to him. He also seemed determined to feed him, always bringing him extra rations. And yeah, sure he was starving all the time now, but it was weird having someone so… close.

“Kid, I’m good!” Han shrugged off another time Luke tried to force food on him. “Go bother someone else for a change.

“But Han,” and suddenly those big eyes were turned on him. “You- you’re- you know!” Han looked around and spoke. 

“I’m pregnant, Luke, not dying. I don’t need you around all the time.” The big eyes were still out, so Han sighed and decided to try another tactic. “Besides if you keep this up, people are going to get suspicious, and sooner or later, someone’s gonna figure it out.”

Guilting him into leaving him alone may not be the most moral tactic, but it worked. Luke set down the ration bar beside Han and trotted off.

Han sighed heavily. He didn’t want to kick the kid away, he just wanted to have some time to himself. Just as he thought that, Leia came up to him. She had a strange look on her face as she came and sat down next to him.

“I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you. I understand how that must look to you.” She began. Well that explained the strange look. Neither of them had apologized with words to each other before. Apologies were always significant looks, or favors returned, or occasionally a gift given for large offenses.

“No, I get it. It’s a lot to take in. I’d probably avoid it if I could too.” Leia sighed.

“It’s not just that. Yes, It’s a lot to take in, and that’s a struggle, but it’s more than that. It’s-” she gestured at her own body. “Pregnancy is supposed to be something a woman can do. I mean, I respect that there are men who can get pregnant and women who can’t obviously, but it’s hard to- when it’s right there- I understand this is hard for you too of course, but-” Her hands had started moving about as she spoke, which Han took as meaning she was very distressed. He grabbed her hands in his.

“I get it. This is hard for both of us. If I go through with it, it’s just going to get harder.”

“But?”

“But nothing. That’s all I had to say. It’s going to be rough either way.” 

“Are you planning on getting rid of it then?” Leia asked.

 “I- don’t know. I don’t know if I can handle this. But-”

“What?” Han looked away, staring at the ground.

“I want to be able to handle it. This wasn’t planned- obviously. But you and Luke- you two are special. It would be special to have a kid whose part you.” Han kept looking away, regretting the emotional words as soon as they left his mouth. They were true, but he hadn’t been planning to share that much today. Or ever.

When he finally glanced back up, Leia’s mouth was hanging open. Han chuckled. 

“Finally got you speechless, huh princess?” She glowered at him for a moment before leaning forward and kissing him on the cheek. Now Han was the one who was speechless. 

“Thanks flyboy. But make sure you really consider everything before making a decision. I want to know you can handle this.” She stood up to leave. “And since we’re being honest, having a kid whose part you wouldn’t be too bad either.”

-

Three days later, Han still didn’t know what he was going to do, and people were going to start figuring things out. Luke and Leia were both being weirdly protective of him and he was still tired and sick constantly. It wouldn’t take much for people to realize something was going on, even if they didn’t put together that he was pregnant.

Leia had evidently told Luke what he’d said. The next time Luke saw him he’d walked right up and kissed him, to the cheers of those around them. Kes Dameron had confided in Han that it was “about time. The tension between you and Luke and the princess is ridiculous.”

So that was a nice development. He still woke up alone most of the time, but occasionally Luke was there with him.

On the other hand, Leia kept backing down in their fights. He loved arguing with Leia. It looked strange to people on the outside, but he loved seeing her passion. He had enough time with her being calm already. 

Suddenly alarms started going off. Han knew what those were for. The Empire was coming. He rushed off to find Luke and Leia.

They found him first. Julye was with them.

“Han! I didn’t mention it at the first appointment, but you have clearance to leave first- given,” She nodded vaguely at his stomach.

“You need to get out of here,” Leia demanded, dragging Han forward and toward the hangar where the Falcon was.

“Hey, I’m not an invalid. And I’m not leaving without you two.”

“We don’t have clearance to leave yet.” Luke told him.

“Then I’m not leaving yet.” Leia rolled her eyes.

“Han, if you don’t leave when you’re assigned, you’ll mess up the entire process and put people- including us- in danger.” Han scowled back at her.

“And why can’t you come on the Falcon with me?”

“Luke is piloting an X-wing. We need him to get it to our next base. And I need to be with the other upper level members to discuss what we do next. Our positions are both vital.” Han wanted to keep arguing- they hadn’t had a good debate like this in a while- but they were already at the Falcon and he and Julye were being pushed on.

“Why’s she coming?”

“For medical clearance to be verified, a medic needs to be on board. Just be glad it was agreed you could go out on the falcon with her and not on a medical ship.” Leia said. Now Chewie- who had evidently been on the ship already was pulling him back to the cockpit, and Han wasn’t such an ass that he’d put people in danger just to stay with them.

[We were warned in plenty of time cub. We should all make it out safely.]

“If we’re all going to be fine, why are we leaving first?” Han grumbled, but there was no heat behind it.

-

The ships all got out without too much trouble, but shortly afterward ships from the star fleet discovered them. There weren’t too many of them, but there were enough to pose a threat. Han couldn’t shake the feeling that something terrible was about to happen. He turned the Falcon around and assessed where the ships were.

He saw them coming up upon one of the Rebellion’s ships. He recognized it as being the same class as the ship Leia had been heading for and somehow he just knew she was on it. He piloted the Falcon closer, ignoring Julye shouts for him to stop.

Before she could do anything, they were within range of the Imperial ship, who quickly spotted them and began firing.

“Julye, you have some flight training right?” He stood up and headed for the targeting areas, motioning for Chewie to go to the other. Julye’s eyes were wide, but she slid into position in the cockpit.

Han settled himself into the gunning position quickly, preparing to fire. The Imperial ship was directing most of it’s fire toward the Falcon, recognizing the ship from intelligence reports. That was exactly what Han was planning.

He tried to aim for the weapons on the Imp ship first, hoping to knock them out of commission. He swung around to reach the best position. Luckily Julye seemed to have the same idea, and she had positioned them close to the weapons discharging.

Han shot quickly as the weaponry came into view. His first hit was lucky, but there were still a lot of weapons and not enough rebel ships were joining the fight, being busy with larger ships.

The Falcon rocked and Han was nearly thrown out of his seat as they were hit. He fired again, but missed the next weapon. At the same moment, however, Chewie hit one from his side. Two down, thirteen to go.

They kept firing, while other rebel ships joined them. Han took out three more weapons, and Chewie managed four. Julye had regained her senses and was screaming at Han for “being so idiotic and reckless as to get us in this mess!”

Another ship took out five weapons, leaving just one left for the Falcon. Before he could do anything however, the ship was rocked again. Han could feel himself falling, and he realized too late he was falling in the exact wrong way. He knocked his head against the wall and suddenly he was gone.

-

Less than a minute later, Han came back to his senses. He quickly hopped back into his seat, ignoring Julye’s loud protests.

He could practically hear Leia shouting at him to get to safety. _Not yet Your Highness._ He wasn’t about to leave her alone. He ignored the fact that there were other ships fighting the Imperial ship attacking Leia’s convoy.

While he had been thinking, another ship took out the last weapon, and from there it was short work disabling and destroying the Imp ship. Han looked around, seeing that the Imperial ships were quickly being overwhelmed, and told Julye to take them back to the medical ships.

-

When he reached the cockpit, Julye was glaring at him, but somehow she made it seem like she was also worried for him.

“I saw you got knocked out of your chair. Were you unconscious for any of that?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“We need to dock on a ship. I need to make sure you’re okay. That could be serious.”

“What’s the problem? It was only for a minute.”

“The idea that people can be knocked out for hours and be okay is a myth perpetuated by books and holovids. Even being unconscious for a few minutes can be dangerous."

Han shrugged her off.

“Han, best case scenario, you’re fine. Second best, you have a concussion. Worst case scenario, something is seriously wrong with you or the baby. I need to know.” Han tried to ignore her words, but something about them sent a jolt of fear through him.

Something… okay he knew what. It was the idea that something could have happened to the baby. He knew he hadn’t even decided if he wanted to keep the little thing but something about the idea of having it taken away from him was terrifying. He agreed.

Julye contacted one of the larger ships that she knew was carrying medical supplies and got permission to dock. Han sat in shock, hoping against hope nothing had gone wrong.

After docking, Han was brought in to a small diagnostic room to be scanned. As light bounced through the room, he wondered how much Luke and Leia were going to kill him for this.

Twenty minutes later, Ziyan came into the room. Xe gave him a disapproving look before looking at xir papers.

“You’re one lucky son of a blaster, Solo.” Xe finally said. “No ill effects to you or the child.” Han breathed a sigh of unexpected relief. Julye came in to take him back to the Falcon. As they reached the ship, she spoke.

“I’m really glad everything’s okay. Losing a kid, even a fetus, even one you’re not sure you want, is tough.”

“Thanks for getting me all worked up over nothing,” Han mocked back. Julye made a face at him.

“Han, seriously though, something could have gone wrong. I, uh, may have overstated the chances of something happening to the baby, but if something was really wrong with you, it would have affected the little guy eventually.” Han gave her an incredulous look.

“Hey, I reserve the right to manipulate you into doing what’s best for your health.” Julye held a hand up in defense.

“Yeah. Sure. Next time just have Chewie drag me in. Don’t give me a heart attack over nothin’.”


	3. Chapter 3

When Han stepped off the Falcon, he only had a few minutes before being attacked by Luke and Leia.

“What happened? I know something happened, I feel you both being terrified.” Luke demanded.

“Han decided I couldn’t handle an Imperial ship myself and put himself in danger.” Leia said. Luke frowned disapprovingly.

“Han, you can’t be so reckless. What if something happened to you?”

“Kid, calm down. Nothing happened and we’re all okay,” Han put a special emphasis on the ‘we.’

“Good.” Luke sighed.

“C’mon. I might be reckless, but I’m not stupid.”

“Could have fooled me,” Leia says, but it’s almost… fond.

“Wait, that might explain Leia’s fear, but not Han’s. Han’s went on a lot longer too.”

“Medic lied, told me my stunt might have hurt it.” He was still unwilling to say baby, but it was getting easier. It was at that moment that Julye left the Falcon, to the stares of Luke and Leia. She chuckled nervously.

“Hey, I just wanted to make sure your boy was alright. Head injuries are serious. And I didn’t lie exactly. It really could have affected the fetus. I just exaggerated the likeliness of that.”

“I appreciate your concern for Han,” Leia had her diplomatic voice on. “But please don’t manipulate him like that again.” Julye gulped at the venom in that last part and nodded.

“Yes sir.” She hurried off.

“Nice job, princess, but I don’t exactly need you to scare off medics for me.” Han spoke in a low voice.

“Oh flyboy, you really think that, don’t you?”

“Just what are you saying?”

“Just that if you can’t see her crush on you, you’re more of an idiot than I thought.”

“And who says I want you scaring off anyone with a crush on me, huh? Are you jealous, your worship?”

“Jealous?” Leia scoffed. “I scared her off for her sake. She’s a good girl, who deserves a nice man.”

“I can be… nice.”

“But you don’t bother.” Luke was smiling off to the side, backing away to give them some privacy.

“Fair point. You’re right,” Leia was confused when Han held up his hands and backed away. “I’m not nice. But you like it, don’t you princess?” He whispered that in her ear, having made his way behind her. She spun around to face him.

“I happen to like nice men,” She said.

“Are you sure?” Han turned and walked away at that, leaving Leia frustrated. This round went to him.

Or, well, if they were basing rounds on who left unfrustrated, then he didn’t think he’d won a single one.

-

A few days later, Wedge came up to Han in an empty hallway.

“Okay, I’m not blind. I know something’s going on. You’ve been miserable, you’re going to the medbay all the time, and Luke and Leia are actually fussing over you. What’s wrong? You sick or something?” Han sighed and looked around. He supposed he ought to start telling people. It wasn’t like he could hide it for long.

“I’m pregnant, Antilles.” He said.

“Preg-” Wedge’s eyes went wide. “Okay. Wasn’t expecting- I mean not that there’s anything wrong with- you’re trans?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, okay. Cool,” Wedge winced. “Sorry, Han, I’ve never done this before. I don’t mean to like, offend you or anything.”

“Antilles, it’ll take a lot more than that to offend me.”

“But wait. You’re having a baby? You’re a guy.”

“Thanks, I had noticed. Look, I get that it’s not the typical thing, but yeah. I’m having a baby.” It was the first time Han had called the thing growing inside him a baby, and he expected it to sound strange, and it did, but it also seemed right somehow.

“Well, congrats man. I’m glad you’re not, you know, dying or anything.”

“You sure I’m not?”

“Ooh, yeah. Heard the first trimester is... not pleasant.”

“That’s an understatement. You try being sick all the time, and not being able to keep your eyes open past nine.”

“Hey, making a whole human is hard work. You go just for trying.”

“Thanks,” Han grumbled. Wedge patted him on the back and jogged off with a laugh.

-

Wes avoided Han for the next week. Whatever. If he wasn’t okay with this, then he could suck it. Hobbie had become enthusiastic about the whole prospect. He was very excited at the thought of two of his friends having a child, even if he wasn’t certain who was the other parent. Han was sure Hobbie was in the middle of planning a baby shower, based on what he’d overheard him and Shara Bey talking about.

The news began dispersing over the next week. Being fairly well known in the Rebellion, Han’s personal life was pretty up for grabs when it came to gossip. And this was pretty big gossip. Two personal secrets being revealed just like that.

Han was surprised- and flattered- by the number of people who hadn’t realized he was trans at all. Apparently even without taking testosterone he was passing pretty well. He was, however, getting some very strange looks ever since the news came out.

And of course, there were rumors abound about who the other parent might be. Luke and Leia were the primary guesses- Leia had been out for years- but a few others were in consideration. When he was asked, he tried to keep it quiet that he wasn’t exactly sure himself. Leia didn’t seem to want their affair to become public, and he was comfortable with that if it’s what she wanted.

-

Han could feel the eyes on him. He tried to be nonchalant, but it was difficult. He’d gone from being out to only a few people to the whole Rebellion knowing about him. It was difficult and he was even more in awe of Leia for coming out years ago in such a public role as Princess of Alderaan. Even just being a semi-public figure, it was giving him hives.

He’d dodged more than a few negative comments and slurs, which bothered him more than he was willing to admit.

As he’d expected many people were perfectly accepting. In fact, if he were to count, he’d bet that more people were accepting here than in most other parts of the galaxy he’d been to. But that didn’t mean everyone was okay with it. This was definitely going to be an adjustment.

-

Han spotted Wes across the room and moved to get out of his line of sight. If Wes was going to be an ass, he wasn’t going to try and force the matter. But clearly Wes was having none of that, seeing as he came right over to him.

“Han. Hey. I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you.” Han just raised an eyebrow. He refused to make this easy on him.

“I just- I never really got the whole trans thing, you know? How people can just choose their gender.” Han was about to speak, but Wes held up his hands. “Wedge talked some sense into me. I get that it’s not a choice or anything. I, well I probably won’t be the best at this, but I want to try and stay friends. If that’s okay with you.”

“Wes, if you’re willing to make the effort, I don’t mind. But don’t expect me to make much of an effort myself. Either you come to me, or you leave me alone.”

“Yeah, yeah okay. I can do that. You think Leia will mind if I ask her a few questions?”

“Buddy, if you think Leia’s going to be more forgiving than me, be my quest. But I personally doubt she’ll let you mess up.”

“Er okay.” Wedge, waved awkwardly. “Thanks. Bye.” He hurried off, and Han shook his head good-naturedly.

-

“So you’ve decided to keep it?” Leia spoke as soon as she entered the Falcon.

“What makes you say that?” Han asked.

“The fact that everyone on base knows about it.”

“I think so yeah. Aborting it would- it would just feel like giving up on my kid. I can’t do that.” Liea’s eyes softened, wondering what his childhood had been like.

“Are you going to raise it as well?” Leia spoke, overwhelmed with the thought. She would support his decision, but the idea of being a parent in several months was a lot to take in. Han’s eyes widened as well.

“I dunno. I’m not exactly prime dad material, but like I said I’m not prepared to just give up.”

“Adoption isn’t giving up, you know. It’s acknowledging someone else can do a better job right now than you.”

“Wow, Leia, thanks.” Han bristled at her words.

“Han, you know very well what I meant. We’re in the middle of a war. That’s not exactly a great environment for a child. And you just said you don’t know if you’re ready to be a dad.” Leia expected a retort, but Han just nodded.

“Yeah. I know. I just don’t like what you were implying.”

“Well, I’m not saying you have to give it up for adoption. I’m just giving my thoughts on the matter. After all, Shara and Kes are doing a great job with Poe.”

“Yeah. But I’m no Kes.” Leia shrugged. She didn’t want him to make a decision solely based on her thoughts on the matter. They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes before Leia left the Falcon.

-

Kes Dameron himself came up to Han in the mess hall. He didn’t know if the morning sickness was beginning to pass or if he was just getting used to it, but he’d finally felt comfortable braving the mess hall.

“Hey Han.” Kes set his food down next to Han, who subconsciously made a face. Kes glanced down and shoved one of his dishes to the side.

“Sorry. Should have realized you’d be sensitive to the smell. Shara was the same way.”

“Nah, it’s okay.”

“It’s whatever. I don’t mind. So, obviously I heard the news.” Han braced himself for any reaction.

“Congratulations! I won’t ask questions. Force knows I got tired of that when Shara was pregnant. I just want to say that if… and I emphasize if here, you keep the kid, me and Shara are certainly willing to help. There’s a whole group I could connect you with, really.”

“Thanks. Not sure if I’m keeping it yet.” Kes nodded.

“I can respect that. I just wanted to let you know that you have support if you should need it. And, just my opinion, I think you three would make great parents.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so this is pretty much the end of the beginning. Next chapter we move into part two, where we skip ahead.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So here's the entire rest of the pregnancy. Next onto baby days!

The’d started staring again. Not that some of them had ever really stopped. But now that he was showing, it had started up again. He tried to ignore it, focusing on getting his lunch and eating. But it was hard. He knew what they were saying, even some of the ones who didn’t mind him being trans. A lot of people thought it was strange that he was carrying the kid to term.

It bothered him more than he was willing to admit. Yeah it wasn’t what was usually expected, but he’d made his comfort with the fact. Sure, he still had some bad days, but the way he looked at it now, he was at least getting some use out of this body.

Kes and Shara came over to him with baby Poe, loudly talking over any negative sentiments. They’d taken to doing that recently, making it clear how they supported him- loudly.

He hadn’t known them very well before this. They were always more like acquaintances. It was weird to think he was now automatically part of their “parent friends” group.

Han grinned as he watched Poe wave his little arms around, smacking Kes in the face.

“Yeah, you laugh now. It’ll be your little one doing that soon enough.”

“My kid’s gonna smack you in the face?” Kes made a face at him.

“Where’s Luke and Leia?” Shara asked. Usually Han ate with them.

“Leia’s at a briefing and Luke left on a mission.” Shara nodded sympathetically at him and Han fought the urge to scowl. Why did everyone think he and they were together now? Just because he was having one of their kids didn’t mean- Okay he could see where they got the idea. 

-

Luke and Leia weren’t often assigned to the same mission given their differing fields of expertise, but this time they had been. Han was not stressed about them both being in danger, absolutely not. So people really needed to stop telling him they’d be fine.

Han did not go to greet them at the end of the mission either. They came to him in his room.

The two of them were exhausted and collapsed onto a pile on his bed. Han joined them shortly. They stayed that way for a good while. Finally Han spoke.

“We need-” At the last moment he decided this wasn’t the time to bring up their complicated relationship. “To pick out a name for this kid.”

“How? We don’t know which of us is the other parent.” Luke asked.

“Well, how ‘bout Luke picks a name for a boy and Leia one for a girl.” Leia made a face at that suggestion.

“Okay, one vote no on that suggestion,” Luke joked. “I don’t know, Han. Maybe we should both just pick out two names, and whichever one fits best when they’re born is the one we choose.”

“I like that better,” Leia said.

“Fine. If that’s what you want to do. I don’t see how any name will ‘fit’ best, but we’ll figure it out.” Han grumbled in mock offense. “You two figure out something.”

“Wait, Han, don’t you want to help pick out the name?” Luke asked.

“I figure you two should have something to do. Besides, I get veto power.”

-

Luke and Leia still loved to feel the baby kicking. Han was less enthused. Sure, he’d admit it was exciting when it first started, but at this point it was just annoying.

Still, it was nice to sit with them as they felt for the kicking.

He and Leia were back to arguing regularly, to the dismay of everyone around them, who had hoped that they would finally get together with the baby.

He and Luke still danced around the topic of their relationship. Neither was willing to put a label on what they had yet. Neither would admit to feeling some trepidation if they brought it up, but both felt it.

Rogue Squadron was sick to death of hearing about Luke’s relationship problems, and Han and Leia certainly didn’t help with it.

To add to their sorrows, Hoth was a miserably cold planet. Han was grateful that he almost never had to leave base, given that he certainly wasn’t going on missions anymore, but there was still a chill inside the base, that seemingly nothing could cure.

At this point Han was quite ready to just have this kid and be done with it. It was exhausting carrying the thing around all the time, and that wasn’t even getting into the other problems with having a huge weight around his stomach.

But well, be careful what you wish for.

-

It was a few days later when Luke and Leia were called out for another mission. This time it was two separate missions, but both overlapped for a few days. Both wanted to protest- with it being so close to the due date, they didn’t like the idea of being away from base.

But they knew they couldn’t shirk their duties to the Rebellion.

So when Han woke up with back pains in the middle of the night, his first thought was just ‘no.’ This could not be happening. Not when both of them were away.

He tried to keep the pain a secret, after all, he knew it could be awhile yet before labor officially began. He thought Chewie figured it out, but he mercifully didn’t say anything.

Finally, Han realized he was going to have to check into the medbay. Julye greeted him at the door. Thankfully, she’d gotten over her crush on him, or this would be much more awkward.

During the actual labor, he absently thought about how he’d expected there to be more screaming. Ziyan told him afterward that he’d apparently gone into shock for the first part, which explained that. There definitely was some screaming though. His voice was hoarse at the end of the six hours, and he was just grateful it hadn’t gone on longer. He’d been dreading the idea of a long labor.

It was a horrible, miserable experience that, in a way, he was glad Luke and Leia hadn’t seen. But he still wished they’d been there.

When he held the baby afterwards, it pretty much made it worth it. His beautiful baby boy.

He hadn’t expected to just know which name would fit best when he first saw him, but he did. As soon as he held him, he knew which name to pick. Leia had suggested Jacen, but that name just didn’t fit this kid.

“Ben.” He tried out the name, and knew that it was right.

-

Leia rushed to the medbay when she got in a few hours later. She hated the fact that she’d missed the birth, especially by such a close margin. When she arrived, Han was asleep, and the baby was lying in a crib next to him. As she watched the lovely picture, Ziyan came up to her.

“His name’s Ben, if you were wondering.” Xe said.

“Ben Solo.” She tried it out, and it just felt right. “It’s lovely.”

“Lovely indeed.” Ziyan smiled at her. “I thought you should know, we did the blood tests.”

“Oh.” Leia spoke. She knew what xe meant. They knew who the other parent was now. She hadn’t expected the rush of hope and fear that she would feel at this moment. She hadn’t realized how much she wanted Ben to be hers until now.

“He’s yours.” Leia felt another rush- this time of relief. This beautiful baby was hers.

She shook her head at herself. She hadn’t even held him yet! And yet, she couldn’t shake the utter happiness at the revelation.

Later, as she sat beside Han and Ben, her thoughts turned to Luke. How would he respond to the fact that the baby he’d been waiting for all this time wasn’t his? Of course, she had no intention of not letting him be part of Ben’s life, especially considering how much time he’d spent with Han during the pregnancy, and how they were involved- somehow.

But she knew it would still be a blow. She just hoped it wouldn’t be a blow to their relationships.


End file.
